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Conversations with George...

By Aleksander Boyd

London 21.02.05 | The following is an imaginary conversation between George W. Bush and myself with respect to Hugo Chavez.

George Bush (GB): howdy Aleksander, please make yourself at home.

Aleksander Boyd (AB): thanks George.

GB: I must tell you I feel bad for you, really bad. That terrorist president of yours is going to take your country down the hole.

AB: tell me George, now that you are aware of his terrorist nature, what sort of actions are you going to take to curtail the expansion of his revolution in the region?

GB: well you know my administration is in an all out campaign against terror. Although we are currently focused in installing a democratic government in Iraq, we are monitoring the situation in Venezuela closely. President Uribe keeps us up to speed on everything related to Chavez' support for Colombian narcoterrorists and our own intelligence, working in sync with Venezuelan counterparts, has a pretty accurate picture of the Cuban G2 operations in your country.

AB: that's good George mind you I do not doubt that you have detailed knowledge of the connections that Chavez has got with Castro, the FARC, the coca growers, the Ortegas, the Talebans, the Mullahs, etc, but I do believe that to some extent you're playing into his game.

GB: care to explain?

AB: quite simple, you're Venezuela's single biggest energy customer.

GB: yeah I know. After Sen. Lugar's proposition we are looking into that dependence which I particularly dislike. Furthermore, a couple of years ago during the strike, all crude shipments from Venezuela came to a halt and we managed to keep our economy in good shape…

AB: exactly, you did. Thus my proposal to you today is this: stop buying Venezuelan crude immediately.

GB: what do you mean?

AB: Chavez' success is due to one thing only: his ability to spread money around, oil money, which needs be stressed is not his; it's the country's money.

GB: carry on.

AB: understand that if you stop buying Venezuelan oil its related income is going to pretty much disappear. In that way you would effectively be depriving Chavez' from using his most powerful weapon, i.e. money. You must bear in mind that none of his followers or collaborators are lending their support owing to ideological reasons; on the contrary their loyalty comes with a hefty price tag that Chavez is only too happy to cover with monies that belong to all Venezuelans. Castro is the most extreme of examples of Chavez very many convenience relationships.

GB: but now he is accusing me of plotting to kill him and threatening to severe oil supply.

AB: take a look at Castro George. He's been creating and announcing with great fanfare assassinations plots since the late fifties and he's still there. Of course who would want to kill him and for what reason? Cuba, after all this years of communist rule, is a shithole and only Cubans will benefit from Castro's demise. However, as you know, that isn't the case with Venezuela taking into account its vast energy reserves and geographic location. You must do your utmost to stop the money flow.

GB: I see your point, it will take some years to the Chinese to be able to refine all that Venezuelan crude.

AB: my advice is instead of playing the diplomatic game with him just cut the artery, after all he's been menacing to do so for a number of years now, hasn't he?

GB: yeah…

AB: then do it. In that way you will bring to a sudden death international criticism and demonstrate with actions that you couldn't care less about Venezuela's oil. Once that's done you shall see how long his support base will last. A Chavez without money is as good as a walking dead man; his close collaborators will take good care of him.

GB: you're right. Let me discuss the issue with my advisors, after all we can come out as winners here.

AB: indeed George. Thanks for having me.

GB: hey, you know it, if it is to kick some terrorist butt anytime.

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