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Venezuela: Open letter to Francisco Carrasquero

By a Venezuelan

Please help me, Dear Francisco Carrasquero President of Venezuela’s Electoral Council. Please tell me to whom should I give my Bolivarian ID, it’s in mint condition, and apart of sporting a horrendous picture (I forgive the photographer because I am no soap opera hunk), the referred ID has got a series of details about me that despite being correct, truth most be said, I did not wrote them.

I confess that a civil servant did it for me. I only put my face in front of the camera, my fingerprint and my signature. Since you affirm that the signature and the fingerprint are not valid enough I beg you to tell me what should I do with my ID.

Further, would you be so kind in doing me the favour of consulting with your mate, Rodriguez the psychiatrist, and inform me how should I tell my wife that we are not married? For in marriage my only input was courage, love and my signature not even the fingerprint (what a huge problem I’m in).

Thanking you in advance,

Yours faithfully…

Spanish Version

Una ayudita por favor,

Dr. Francisco Carrasquero (Presidente del CNE), por favor dígame a quién le devuelvo mi cédula bolivariana, es de las nuevas, ya que aparte de una foto horrenda (perdono al fotógrafo, pues yo tampoco soy un galán de telenovela), el documento en cuestión tiene una serie de datos sobre mi persona que a pesar de ser correctos, la verdad es que yo no los escribí.

Confieso que un funcionario lo hizo por mí. Yo sólo puse la cara, la huella y mi firma; Como según usted la firma y la huella no son suficientes, le ruego me diga qué hacer con mi cédula.

Para que me haga el favorcito completo, le ruego consulte con su compinche, el Psiquiatra Rodríguez, si ha pensado en algo para que me ayude en cómo decirle a mi esposa que no estamos casados, pues ahí nada más puse el valor, el amor y la firma, ni siquiera la huella (Que peo que se me va armar).

De antemano muchas gracias.



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